- 9.
Բ
The camera zoomed in on the letter.
The director opened it.
[My First Letter to my Family, A Letter I Can’t
Send.]
Hey Family.
It’s been so long.
I haven’t been able to sleep and my body.
always hurts now.
On sleepless nights, I think about Mom and
Jake.
167
Even if you probably don’t think about me.
If Dad were still here, he’d definitely be
thinking of me.
Too bad he’s in heaven now.
Oh yeah, I went to the doctor this morning for
a checkup.
She was really mad at me.
She asked, “How did you do this to yourself
at such a young age?”
“I hope you aren’t hiding anything from me.”
I had to tell her the truth.
When I first got back, I wanted to tell you
about what my life was like.
But Lily cried so much, I never got the
chance.
I guess I’ll tell it now.
Back when I wasn’t a Smith yet.
After the foster home shut down, Mary got
adopted.
<
Liam and I could barely afford to eat.
Liam got sick a lot and I would do anything
for him. So to make sure he could eat meat
and see a doctor, I worked at a diner washing
dishes.
Early in the morning and late at night, I’d go
to that abandoned factory to scavenge for
stuff to sell.
I’m pretty resourceful, right?
The doctor said it was because of the hard
work and the radiation exposure.
She cried. “You’re thirteen and working to
support your brother.”
She asked, “Where is your brother?”
I looked out the window. “He’s got a new
sister now.”
The doctor got angry. “So he used you?”
I shook my head.
She said, “You’re not going to live much.
longer.”
Then I thought about telling Jake.
We were family after all.
A couple of days ago, I called Jake.
Lily answered.
She said Jake didn’t want to hear my voice.
She asked to talk for him.
Is that true, Jake?
I was a little sad, but I told her.
I told her I was sick.
She was quiet for a long time, then said she’d
tell Mom and Jake.
I waited.
Maybe we could make up before I died?
Lily came back.
She said, “Mom and Jake want you to die far
away.”
Then she added, “Don’t talk to me, Mom
needs me, we are going to Hawaii for six
months.”
“Sarah, you never should have come back. No
one wants you here.”
Then she hung up.
I got up, and went to throw out the trash.
I started crying.
A little kitten was licking my hand.
It was a tabby.
I saw the mom a few days ago, hiding her
kittens.
<
“Did your mom accidentally leave your
behind?”
“Your mom and siblings are probably worried
about you.”
It rubbed against my hand.
“What about me? I wasn’t left behind, I saved
my brother.”
I hugged it and started crying.
My mom and Jake didn’t want me.
I’ll never get to send this letter.
April 1, 2022.
