Chapter 5
He pounded the steering wheel furiously, setting off a harsh honk. After restarting the car, it seemed a long while before he calmed down.
He asked where I’d been this past month.
Then, as if casually, he added, “Haven’t you been eating? You’ve lost so much.
weight.”
I had no desire to answer these questions.
From now on, I didn’t need to share anything with him.
I could only change the subject:
“Have you taken your wedding photos with Ms. Taylor?
“If you haven’t found a suitable photographer, I can recommend one.”
I thought he was going to ask how I went to the seaside.
After nearly drowning in high school, I had always been afraid of water. Even when my parents suggested family trips, I would avoid all water activities. That near–death fear haunted me like a constant nightmare.
But this time, I made my greatest attempt in that coastal city.
I walked along the shallow beach all afternoon, overcoming my fear to swim at
little.
When I came ashore, my heart was racing, but I felt a joy of rebirth.
As if in those moments submerged, I had finally let go of my inner knot.
Lance’s sarcasm snapped me back to reality.
“What’s next? Planning to book our wedding banquet and find a postpartum care
center too?”
We had arrived. He stopped the car and came around to open my door.
Without a word, he tried to pull me out.
“Samantha, what’s this act now? Trying to appear magnanimous to make me feel
guilty?”
His voice and actions welled up a tide of weariness from deep within me.
Even physically, I recoiled from his touch.
I forcefully shook off his hand and jumped out of the car myself.
1/4
05
“What act? I just want to get divorced and never see you again.
“Satisfied, Lance Mitchell? I’ve paid my debt to you.”
But he looked up at me, his eyes reddening as he stared intensely.
“Paid your debt? How could you possibly pay it back? Can you ever repay this
debt?”
I felt my face grow cold as I climbed the stairs without a moment’s hesitation. Let it end, let all of this end quickly.
But Lance Mitchell rushed up and grabbed my wrist tightly. “Say something.” I clenched my teeth and walked inside with determination.
His hand gripped my wrist, but it seemed to have lost its earlier strength.
As we neared the door, he forcefully pushed me against the wall.
“You still haven’t told me who the man was that you were with for that month?” I had almost forgotten about this, and it took a moment for my foggy brain to
recall.
“The cab driver! He picked me up from my flight and took me to the hotel.”
He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and the hands on my shoulders relaxed a
bit.
I laughed bitterly:
“No, we’re getting divorced. Don’t you think it’s ridiculous to ask about this now? “Or is it that only you can have a child with someone else during our marriage, but
I can’t?”
Perhaps I had struck a nerve, as he suddenly withdrew his hands.
He stared at me with a dark gaze: “What right do you have?”
Enough.
I’ve had enough of always being questioned and belittled by him. Putting some distance between us, I straightened my crumpled clothes.
When I looked up at him, my gaze was cold:
“You can call me ungrateful if you want, but I don’t owe you anything anymore. “Lance Mitchell, for the past decade or more, I’ve cared for you every moment.
2/4
05
“I loved you with all I had, but now, my feelings for you have been completely exhausted.”
I’m no longer afraid of him not loving me.
I no longer feel indebted.
I walked inside: “I don’t care who you love anymore. Anyone is fine, as long as it’s
not me.”
We went to get the certificate, and Lance Mitchell had a dark expression the entire time.
Even my steps became lighter as I walked out, answering my mother’s call. “Mm–hmm, we got it. Nothing’s wrong. I’m coming home for dinner.”
Lance Mitchell’s voice drifted from behind me: “You’re so happy now that you have nothing to do with me?”
I stopped in my tracks, surprised that my joy was so evident.
But I didn’t turn back, I just kept walking straight ahead..
Never before had I felt the wind so gentle, even the rush hour traffic jam seemed endearing, like sloths.
I only took two days off.
At the dinner table, my mother kept putting food on my plate.
My father acted as if he hadn’t seen me in years.
“You’ve gotten thinner, and tanner.”
His words were filled with concern and things left unsaid.
Knowing I was working in a coffee shop, my mother paused.
“If you like it, we could open one for you here, as a hobby…”
I interrupted her: “Mom, I’m doing fine over there.”
She fell silent, lowering her head to wipe away a tear.
I hadn’t intended to move too far from home, but this brief freedom felt
exhilarating.
In a place where I didn’t have to worry about running into Lance Mitchell around
every corner.
3/4
05
It seemed I could finally find myself.
I talked endlessly about my experiences over the past month.
When I got excited, I couldn’t stop laughing.
My father suddenly said softly: “I haven’t seen you laugh like this in so long.”
How long had it been?
Even I couldn’t remember. The laughter felt awkward, and I didn’t dare to cry.
“Your mother–in–law… Mitchell’s mom moved back.”
My mother hastily corrected herself, saying she refused to live in the house my parents had bought.
Not long after I left, she insisted on moving back to her previous home.
“Do you want to go see her?”
Seeing the hopeful look in my parents‘ eyes, I still shook my head.
“No, let’s not disturb her life anymore.”
I had left in a hurry, and I realized there were still many things I hadn’t taken with
- me.
Putting down my chopsticks, I told my parents: “Please bring my things back.”
I couldn’t bring myself to kick him out, and I didn’t want to see him either.
