Chapter 20: Wasted Time
“I’m sorry I bothered you so late. I shouldn’t have come here.” Sarah didn’t give him a chance to respond before she reached for the door, but she forgot that Luca had locked it so when the Twisted the knob, it didn’t fun
The used the moment as a distraction and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I know you want me to make the decision for you about Mr. Colton,” he said, “but I won’t do that. This is something you have to deci Fon yoursell, Sarah *
She scoffed and rolled her eyes before she could turn around to face his “That’s bullshit.”
Luca furrowed his brow, not expecting her outburst.
this was something I could decide on my own, why would I be here?” she asked him angrily, “I have been going back and forth inside my head for weeks. And every single time I come full le, right back where I started Undecided
Laca shrugged. “It’s your life. At some point, you have to grow up and decide for yourself. Amanda, your friend, won’t be around forever, and seeing that you are here talking to Mr. Colton’s employee so late in the night.. that happens to be the case,” he said pointedly.
Sarah bt her lip. He did have a point. “What I want is not something I can have, Lura. There are consequences to everything, okay? I have worked so hard to get where I am today, to maka use I don’t fall into the misery of the first half of my life. No one will understand and I am barely hanging onto my life right now by a thread.” She shook her head and buried her face in her hands, feeling frustrated.
“God, Mitch. Grow a backbone, will you?” Luca scowled angrily at her. “Who cares what other people think or try to do to you? Why do you care so much about things that haven’t happened yet? Everyone in this world is a superficial asshole and they are barely semi–nice to you on an ordinary day. They will still talk shit behind your back if you don’t do anything and lie low, 10 Why are you so confused?”
Sarah cringed because she knew Luca was right, but he didn’t understand because he had never been given the choice between living in the shadows or dying. He had never seen how the rich treated people because he had met someone like Wam.
“Because it’s better than being dead Sarah confessed, so softly that Lara didn’t catch her words “I am just shallow and don’t like trouble.” She stared into his eyes. “Excuse me for wanting test in a place where everyone around me isn’t staring and talking about me. I feel miserable and lifeless just as it is.”
Luca’s face turned sympathetic, “Sarah…”
Don’t look at me like that,” she snapped and pushed past Luca to sit on the soda. She was there not for his sympathy but for his advice. Finally, she conceded and said a few blote w don’t know how else to exist. Somewhere between odd jobs to get through college and hooking up with William at the club. I forgot what my life is supposed to be. I have never known what my actual goal is, rodeel like I exist and to connect with people. I thought just surviving would be enough”
Lucaned her on the soda “And is it enough, Saralı?”
Sarah shrugged “It was for a while.”
“And now” be prompted.
“Now, I don’t know what to feel anymore. I can’t tell the difference between what is
what is real and what is not.” She turned to him. “What is wrong with me?”
It was Luca’s turn to shrug “I wish I had meaningful advice to give you. I know that is what you need right now, but I am not unbiased like you think and I can’t teach you how to live the rest
Sarah blinked at him, not knowing how to respond
Know this: 1 will be rooting for William and you no matter what,” he promised. “The hall is now in your court. What do you want?
Sarah couldn’t tell William what the conversation was about. His eyes were wide and his chest heaved with quick breath. “What? What is it?”
It would never work Sarah and William Sarah was clingy and needy and insecure, William was possessive and temperamental and arrogant. Sarah feared the world and cared about how word would spread, whereas William was fearless and wished to play with the world in the palm of his hands. They were complete opposites. Why did they attract, then?
The thing was, Sarah was trying to change. She didn’t want to be the scared and invisible person from her past any longer. But what about him? He would stay the same, confrontational and fearing nothing Sarah looked around her apartment, remembering how aggressively he had come at her, how furious he had been
*Sarah?” he called gently as she took another step closer. “Say something Say anything, Just don’t shut me out, okay?”
The first thing that came to mind was this: “You hurt my back”
William’s face dell in disappointment. That’s it? That is all you have to say alter everything-
“Everything?” Sarahi scoffed. “You keep acting like we are married News flash, William. It was one night and then you hung unto me. Do you get it? It is not equivalent to the commitment and stress you are dumping on me. Yes, I feel something for you. She paused and took a deep breath to gain control of hersel
the watched as his hands fisted at his sides. Sarah ringed, not knowing what her next worch were going to elicit from him.
but you’ve caught the wrong, William,” she shook her head apologetically. “I can’t be the girl who you can take out in public and comfortably make your father proud to be with. Do you think an orphan like me who will amount to nothing will compare to the women your father will set you up with? The expectations he has of you? I can’t be that person. It’s it’s too much!” William Lized and stared down at her as if she had destroyed his life. Sarah was tempted to comfort him, but she knew that it could contradict everything she had just sand. She had juur decided for both of them. She would allow William to date Wendy and get married and be successful while she did nothing. It was all decided Then why did she feel like crying?
Willian stopped het cold with a word and a steinlook
tit main’t that ravy, her mouth
south wouldn’t stay shui. “just because I can’t be your girl-‘
“Stop,” Willum snapped.
